Doesn’t The Word “Should” Put More Pressure On You?

October 29, 2020

Sometimes I tell myself lines of how I “should” be and what I “should” do – like “I really should call my family right now” or “I really should be working” or “I should be pregnant by now” or “I should be working out more” or “I should be over my trauma by now” or “I should be more patient” etc. Finally one day Andrew turns to me and says “Doesn’t the word should put more pressure on you?” And it really clicked. We feed ourselves these “should” lines that slowly erode us and makes us feel guilty and ashamed and frustrated and eventually kill our spirits.

A friend recently said “should is could with shame”. I am doing my best to focus more on relaxing these days and not be “productive” all the time. All of the doctors and healers told me that when I rest and relax, it turns on my reproductive hormones, the opposite of being work-stressed and “productive” in the usual sense of the word. My wordsmith friend Brooke said “Miki, time to not be productive, time to be RE-PRODUCTIVE.” SO GOOD! I am stopping feeding myself the soul killing “should” lines and feeding myself relaxing soul-filling re-productive lines instead 

What “should lines” are you telling yourself and want to change?